Monday, April 9, 2012

i am recovering

Addictions take on all forms from money, pills, booze, relationships, social media, shopping even something so seemingly benign as reading. Whatever your vice you choose it over living your life. You blame everything else but it when things go wrong. And sometimes there are multiple addictions and sometimes the addiction is just a symptom of a bigger problem. One day you will have had enough and you'll surrender because come hell or high water you are ready for change.

It wasn't until I admitted my powerlessness that I began to feel control again. I know I like to lose myself in work and my photos. When I find myself sitting at my desk to the point I can't feel my feet anymore, hours will have passed and I ask myself what is it that I am avoiding.

Slowly I am beginning to sort and weed things out of my life. As I sit down with a pile of photos I glean the ones that are significant and the rest get tossed out. I could do this on so many levels, paperwork, projects even people. I only want to give my time and energy to the people and things that bring me peace and happiness. I have no more room in my life for clutter, photos or otherwise. Its a small step that eventually over time will open up more room in my life to explore my passions in a balanced healthy way, a life where creativity can flourish.

I immediately identified with maansee's self portrait I love how she is enveloped by the pattern. I see the patterns as an extension of her, she is a part of the art. The fiery colors and rough edge are the icing on this cake. I too sometimes feel turbulent.

Lindsey, aka the modchik


I am turbulent by maansee


christina said...

Lindsey, I adore this post! Every word and the photos so rock! Thank you for sharing such wise words.

Meghan @ Life Refocused said...

You are brave, Lindsey. With you as you move forward. xoxo

Mansi said...

Dear Lindsey,
I'm glad this self-portrait resonated with you, although not so glad about the circumstances in which it did. I can completely relate with what you're going through and applaud your strength and willingness to take the bull by its horns. We run away from problems, immerse in self-inflicted addictions, because that's easy. Your post is a reminder that getting addicted to something in order to avoid something else isn't the solution ... it's part of the problem. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and good luck as you begin the "recovery" process. Baby steps.


Holly ~ Soupatraveler said...

strong and courageous lady, i hear you up there. its all about finding what makes us tick in a happy and healthy manner. i hear you on clearing the clutter...toss it out to make space for the new work to come!

Kirstin said...

What a powerful post, Lindsey. And so brave too! Thank you. x

tinkerbell the bipolar faerie said...

I am recovering from addiction, too. And so these words resonate with me ...

Lindsey Garrett said...

Thank you all for the words of encouragement I take them with me everyday xoxo!!!

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