Friday, April 13, 2012

i am free



I am free, I said.
Free to be whoever I want to be at any given time. Wild and crazy? Subdued and poised? Quiet and moody? Joyful and positive? A dancer, a baker, a writer, a teacher, someone who wears flowers in her hair (like Angela)?...

Once a girlfriend asked me to go out to a club dancing, which I'd never done before. Seemed like a fun idea, and something I'd never had a chance to do. My then boyfriend said "You don't go dancing. Why are you suddenly a dancer now?"
Because I can be. Because now is as good a time as any. Because there's a first time for everything. And because a dance does not a dancer make, anyway! (...As I proceeded to quickly learn from that experience!)
Recently, I found myself swept up in the frenzy of March Madness. My parents said "Since when are you a basketball fan?" shocked that a mostly anti-sports person could be so into college basketball.
Since now. Because I can be. Because now is as good a time as any. Because there's a first time for everything.

If I lived by all the prior and often narrow definitions of myself, definitions that are often, I might add, decided by others, I'd never open myself up to new ideas and never have many of the memorable new experiences that make me who "I am" today. The very things that are now part of my repertoire of self had to start somewhere.

We rush to define ourselves. We are told when we're young that we are still "finding" ourselves and that our goal should be to "know who you are." As if, some day, when we get married or hit 30, it is all figured out and never changes, and that all decisions from then on should be based upon who we think we are at that moment. How does it allow us the ability to grow, change, develop new opinions and ideas if we just settle in and don't continue to learn about who we are or who we could be?

I hear it all the time: "Oh, well my sister is the creative one in the family, not me. That's her thing" or "my husband knows more about technology so I leave all that to him." Why do we let the strengths of others become how we define our weaknesses? Why do we let their abilities minimize our own? Why are we so quick to define ourselves in ways that limit who we can be? The answer, I think most of us know, is that it is just easier to take that approach than it is to learn something new, put in the effort, or open yourself up to failure, mistakes.

So,
who are you?
Whoever you choose to be!
Make it happen. If you fail, or decide you don't like it, at least you tried it on for size. At least you'll know that your self definition does not include limiting yourself.


collecting a moment of pure joy by journeyswithasimplegirl

happy snapping!
~cara of cararosephotos
p.s. I dedicate this post to Andrew and Melly and any friend who sat and discussed this with me for hours back when I was "figuring out 'who i am'."

20 comments:

Sam said...

Beautifully said Cara. Such wonderful words.

Anna said...

So insightful, Cara, and I love your thoughts about not defining our weaknesses by others' strengths. Such a great point.

twil123123 said...

Wow, very powerful words. Thank you for the gentle reminder Cara!!!

twil123123 said...

Wow, very powerful words. Thank you for the gentle reminder Cara!!!

Suzi said...

Inspiring indeed. Well said Cara.

gina said...

So much wisdom in your words and beautifully stated!

Joelynne/SnapYappy said...

Well said. :)

Staci Kennelly said...

Such empowering words. Thank you.

Meghan @ Life Refocused said...

Lovely. Truly lovely and inspiring. xo

Ashley Sisk said...

WOW - that is inspiring.

Holly ~ Soupatraveler said...

i couldn't agree more! powerful, beautiful, and yep...freeing :)

simple girl said...

your words carried me closer to my core, thank you, Cara.
and thank you so much for choosing my image to go along with your amazing post, it's a true honor. xo

Tamara said...

wonderful....truly wonderful. :)

Cathy said...

Profound.

Anne said...

I agree. We usually define ourselves by who we are not rather than who we are and what we are capable of doing. I've often wondered why we allow ourselves to be limited by the strengths of others when we have our own anyway. Your post is a great eye-opener Well written too!

Andrea said...

Brillant, Cara. I love hearing your 'voice'!

Anna said...

Wonderful post, Cara!!! It is often pretty crazy how we define and limit ourselves. Recently, when offered an opportunity, my first thought was "that's not me, I won't like that". Luckily, my second thought was "what the heck, I'll try it anyway". And, guess what, I had fun! So, yep, I'm part of your free-dom club:)

Cathy said...

Profound words will share with my children. Thank you, Cara.

Gilly said...

Lovely post, Cara; food for thought.

Kirstin said...

Inspiring, Cara!

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