Thursday, April 12, 2012

i am failing to succeed


I am an artist. A photographer. A creator. An explorer. I am an eternally evolving, endlessly growing soul attempting to sort it all out. Sometimes I fight it. Sometimes I roll with it. I am constantly amazed at the twists and turns my journey has taken, which makes me wonder why I put up such a fight along the way. It's taken me years of looking at what I wasn't, to be able to own today what I am.

If I'd told you I was a traveller, I'd have also told you that I'd never been to South America and hadn't been to a new country in years. If I'd told you I was a photographer, I'd have also told you that I got a C in Photo 101 shooting only on auto for years. If I told you I was an artist, I'd have pointed out my terrible my drawing skills and how I could barely nail down photorealism in art school. And if you'd asked me five years ago who I was, I would have lined up a row of excuses for my less than stellar station in life. Funny that. Because deep, down, I desperately wanted to succeed. But in this fruitless quest, all I achieved was emphasizing my failures and denigrating my accomplishments. After all, I didn't have a huge salary behind me, only list of experiences that didn't count for much on a resume.

Owning ourselves isn't easy, but by embracing our journey and having the courage to step into the unknown in a celebration of all life has to offer, both failures and successes, well, that's when the magic happens. Besides, who defines failure anyway? Society? Your family? Your boss? Believe me, they're too busy with their own issues to worry about...or they should be.

So I am constantly changing, constantly failing and constantly growing so that I can constantly succeed. For reals. No more excuses. No more apologies. No more self-recrimination. And I'll tell you a little secret that I've figured out on my own: you are too. You are a magnificent creator on an incredible journey with twists and turns of fate that couldn't be scripted. And hopefully, like me, when you look at your failures now, what you're really seeing is just one more thing that you've tried out but didn't really enjoy. It will push you forward to the next big thing. I promise. When I saw Cherish Bryck's self-portrait below, staring straight into the camera with nothing to hide,  I thought to myself, yep, she gets it, she's owning her life too.

Holly ~ Soupatraveler

108/365
108/365 by Cherish Bryck Photography

24 comments:

Terry D said...

hi Holly, I really enjoyed reading your post. I feel very much the same way. Enjoy your journey! :)

Susan said...

Great thoughts to consider...love the inspiration image. Maybe she is owning it-but I think most of us own it some days, and not others.

lifeineden said...

We are all so much more than our failures. Put yours behind you Holly, for you are amazing.

Forward I say!

maureen said...

Beautiful post, Holly, thank you.

Moms Who Click said...

Love this post Holly. I totally relate. Thanks for reminding me to look beyond the what I am not and embrace who I am.

Vanessa/NessieNoodle said...

holly, such beautiful words. I think this is something we all know, and yet have to be reminded of constantly. Just when I think I have stopped putting expectations on myself, I realize I have piled them up- it's a constant climb up and slide back down.
Thanks for the reminder that I am not on this cycle alone...
hugs.

SuperDewa said...

Good thoughts, Holly. What you are describing sounds like perfectionism to me. I have a tendency to look at things the same way, and it stops me in my tracks. Must get past that.

Dani said...

yes. yes. yes.
Empowering words. Thank you.

shirley said...

Wonderful words and food for thought. Very empowering - thank you....

Linda said...

Lots of good things to think on here. It's all in the perspective. What I see is an adventurer, a kind heart, a photographer and a success. And if you're at camp this year, I'd love to meet you in person!

xo,
Linda

urban muser said...

wonderful post holly! such an inspiration to us all.

Meghan @ Life Refocused said...

So much yes her, Holly. Love this. We are all making our way, failing, succeeding. Being. xoxo

deb did it said...

Holly,
I have come to know you via IG.
I admire your truth here, and relate so well, as I continue to reinvent my own life, grab hold of the next wild curve in my life!
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here.

Tara Wesely Romasanta said...

love, love, love this post. and seeing both of you lovelies. xo.

Lindsey Garrett said...

We all can relate to the same feelings of inadequacy - we always surround ourselves with ways to measure ones worth. You are exactly where you need to be. Glad to have you back. :D

Barbara Paulsen said...

Completely raw and honest and inspiring! Welcome home!

Anne said...

I so feel your post! Beautiful words, inspiring thoughts. We all have our own journey and it's heartwarming to know we are not in this alone. Thanks for sharing!

Tamar said...

thank you Holly for this moving and honest post. I am friends with Cherish now as we both live in Vancouver and love that you picked her photo. i will share this post on my FB page. :)

Kirstin said...

Beautiful, Holly. Beautiful.

Nellies said...

Loved reading this Holly. It all sounds very familiair. Thanks for your inspirational post!

cara said...

great post, holly, truly!

GailO said...

There are no such things as failures in life but only learning experiences that should be embraced. At least that's the way I like to think of it!

Wonderful post Holly!

Becs said...

Wow, thank you for this truly inspiring post. Fabulous images to go with it too.

jan@twoscoopz said...

Awesome, AWESOME post!!!
Standing up, clapping :)

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